Thursday, 21 August 2014 .

Everyday is like an internal battle. Trying to not think of you is the hardest thing to do. Anything and everything I see will just jolt my mind to think of our times together.


I wonder how to people move on so fast and are able to forget. what's the theory behind it.. how did people do it? how did you do it? From lovers to friends to strangers.. it seems easy for most people. Anyone that means something to me, friend or not even when we've said our goodbyes and walk away, I would still turn back to take a second look.


When will the time come when I don't need to turn back and take a second look at you in my mind? How can I enjoy life without you like how you're enjoying it without me? I sincerely want to forget like how you did. Cuz its just so painful remaining like that and acting as if everything's fine.


I can only pray.. that one day I can really forget you. 15:34;
A dream can only remain just a dream..

Monday, 18 August 2014 .

I guess that settles it. I don't know if my plan worked but it seems that you're doing what I had hoped for. To avoid myself to plot for bad things, I guess its the best way out..  in the end I can't be a bad person to do bad things to you, nor a good person to truly wish you happiness.


Rather than be stuck in an endless struggle, its best to avoid it altogether and drop this load into the depths of my heart.. only by doing so, that I can lessen some of my pain and to avoid trouble.


I just really hope all will be well for both you and me. =) and hopefully, things won't surface again.. 02:22;
A dream can only remain just a dream..

Monday, 4 August 2014 .

Lots of things go through my mind. Thoughts, schemes, plots.. many chances I could do something, I even had connections for that purpose(not going to elaborate on that).. But what stopped me everytime is the fear of doing something bad that could affect people's lives. Lives that I actually STILL care about and those that don't know about me(its unfair for them).


I am bad. But I just don't want to be so bad to purposely sabotage things. That shouldn't be me. And it goes against many principles, and of course my beliefs.


I should be my old self and don't think too much and too hard. I should heed advice from good analysts friends to just "don't care and do nothing" since things will eventually go bad and go in the direction I wanted to be :) which is what I had known since I've analysed the situation myself.


I guess I'll just throw all those thoughts somewhere else first..


I'm too impatient.. Just wait awhile & things will definitely turn out the way I wished. I don't even need any effort, awesome.

I think I shouldn't be too nice to certain people that aren't worth it anymore.




Cheers to you. 01:56;
A dream can only remain just a dream..