Sunday, 11 August 2013 .
Back from indonesia mission trip. It was a pretty good experience for myself to see how people can live quite peacefully without high technology back here. I'm quite envious for their simple yet fufilling life.Throughout the trip, I've been asking myself, what am I here for? The team had focus on what to do and each of them had their strong point, their talents that they can contribute. It came upon me that I actually had really nothing to contribute except "eye power" and carry stuff which everyone there are actually carrying more.
And then to put it in a bigger picture, I feel the team has been very cooperative, they all had really commentable backgrounds. I'm just like a person following around. To put it in a very very nice way, i'm like the "Phantom guy" in the team where people wouldn't notice hahaha.. which is good in a way I guess..
But yeah, I kinda like the character my buddies portray me as. "Mysterious" haha pretty cool word.. only revealing something nobody knows about me when its needed. I just hope that this doesn't turns out to be an embarassment hahaha.
But having said that, I haven't found my purpose in life yet. Basically the only inclination for me to live is my parents.. I don't have any goals I wish to achieve in life. I'm still searching for my purpose after so many years. When I think about the future, I get pitch black.. How I wish God would reveal to me strongly my purpose for existing... A loner is pretty cool, but like that title sounds, its kinda lonely, I felt like that only after I've ruined my relationship. I guess some people only realise how important some things are after they're gone eh? But well, its too late. Just act cool on the outside yeah. 02:01;
A dream can only remain just a dream..