Tuesday, 27 May 2008 .

Sorry, I just have no idea what to blog about.. My life is just utterly boring. It's also too boring to blog about my boring life. Now I ask myself this question like how fionut asked. "How is your life?"

Actually I should ask myself if I do really have a life? Days, weeks and months passes by.. The only thing I do is study..eat..sleep. Source of entertainment? My computer.. Everything is at HOME. For the past week, I've been rushing all my "Late" assignments.. but I wondered, why am I doing all this for? Because up till now, I still don't have any goal in life. So, what am I living for? lol

I don't have many friends like most people do, my buddies are my only friends. put aside those from the internet, I'm even studying in an isolated school in my isolated home with no chance of making new contacts. I'm also an introvert towards my family.. I rarely contact my closest cousin, she has her own friends and her own life too. Same for my buddies.

Outings? well, yeah.. of course I still go on outings. Either than outing with my buddies which occurs quite rarely since my O'levels, the rest of the outings are a "must". Out with parents to places I don't really wish to go, or places where I'm out alone to run an errand for them( aren't those outings as well? )

This feels kinda..different? compared to the lives of everyone i knew. Well..I guess even though I self-proclaimed that i'm fine being a lone ranger, but a part of me wanted to confide on someone eh? But who? Everybody got their own lives and someone to confide to.
My parents? nah..they're dissappointed in me (for certain reasons) the same that I'm dissappointed in myself. Maybe even God that I believed in is dissappointed too eh?

But whoa..i'm not seeking any attention here and I totally understand that there are others out there who are much worse and yet they are able to handle it. heh heh, I guess i'm weak.

So..do I have a life? I don't even know myself. Someone as useless as myself be better off non-existant? Still the things that are holding me up are how people I know would feel if I weren't around. Even though its not many but of course I know there's some =) so I can't be that selfish.

But sometimes I would also wish a meteorite would fall and wipe off everyone so I needn't worry. But thats selfish too huh? lolz.

As I look about how I get by my everyday live, I can't help but obviously call myself a NEET~

Till next time~ but I don't know when tho =X

ArtixSkyX, Paul 17:24;
A dream can only remain just a dream..